Christmas Dinner

Okay so we went to a VIPS restaurant for our company Christmas dinner.

The food was decent if a bit overpriced. But the strange thing about VIPS and other Korean places of business is that sometimes your dinner/shopping will be to the sound of rap music and not muzak. This is awesome because, while chowing down on your 4881234$ steak, you can lodi dodi your head to Slick Rick. It is also awesome because rap deals in subjects that don't usually come up at the dinner table. And they totally don't censor the swear words. For instance, I was in a department store the other day and Lilly Allen's "Smile" came on over the PA. I won't repeat the offending lines here cause this blog is for the children. But I was surprised to hear f-bombs while trying to pick out a reasonably priced cooking pot.

I eagerly await to hear "Straight Outta Compton".

December Field Trip

Yesterday, we took the kids to Homever (A huge, high end, Walmart-type spot) to catch an off-off-off-off-off-off-off off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off Broadway production of Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs.

So we get to Homever and we shuttle the kids down to the theater. We (as in the teachers) quickly realize that there are only 5 people in the cast. How are they going to have 5 people play seven dwarfs, plus a Snow White? During the play we only saw (at most) 4 dwarfs at the same time. Most scenes had Snow White chilling with three dwarfs. The answer was actually surprisingly simple and a testament to the outside-the-box thinking that goes on around here.


^{What in the world is a "Dwart"?}

Make stuff up! Can't get seven dwarfs? Invent a new species.

If you break it down mathematically, each actor was playing 1.75 dwarts. Multiply that by 4 and you get 7. Thus proving the sign to be accurate. Once again, math and illogical reasoning come to the rescue.

Here are some reviews by the students:


<sup>I don't want to give anything away but the twist ending astounded me so much I still can't close my mouth!


I loved it! It gets four thumbs up!
What?
Well what ARE thumbs then?


I'm so amped after watching that! I wanna fight! Hey you, let's fight!


Maaaaaaan! Them Dwarts was MAD-fake.</sup>

PS. Bonus for Duncan.

The Heavenly Potato

Back at the end of September, a little entry on Boingboing caught my eye. Knowing that this spiral culinary delight/coronary nightmare was out there, I resolved to eat one as soon as I saw it. Well this past weekend, after weeks of quasi-looking, I found a vendor in 강남(Gangnam). And as with everything of significance I do here, I documented myself eating it. Props go to Ant for holding it down on the camera tip.

Advertising

For some weird reason, Koreans LOVE to advertise. Business, personal, whatever, it's all out there on a banner, or cluttered onto the side of a building, or even on the side of a bus. This was the first thing that struck me when I got here, the visual clutter. I think I mentioned this in a previous post. There's also a belief that if you have English words in your ad, it will be more credible. I saw this ad a while ago on the subway and I thought it was soooo redonkulous, but I couldn't get a picture of it. That is until I saw it again this weekend.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the weirdest, dumbest, most awesome print advertisement EVER!!!!


^{You will poop gold nuggets if you install this in your home}

Yeah, that's a toilet seat cover. Who knew they had such life-changing abilities here? Seriously, that's the most ridiculous claim: buying this item that you're only going to use when performing one of humankind's more unsavory acts (number 1, number 2, number 1.5, puking, which I guess could be referred to as number 3) will make all you dreams come true!?!?! Please.





Yet...I kinda want one...

The social hierarchy.

Disclaimer. The following post is based on my not-at-all-scientific observations and ONE anecdotal story. So take it for what it's worth, which is nothing.

A couple of weeks ago, my friend Dave told me this story. One night in Seoul (or wherever) a young guy was walking home when a drunk middle-aged man got in his face. The confrontation quickly escalated and the drunk old man pulled out a knife. A short scuffle ensued and the young man managed to disarm and immobilize the drunk older man. Weeks (months?) later, the whole thing went to court and the young guy actually ended up paying $4,000 because the old man got injured. What did the drunk middle-aged man get for pulling a gank? NOTHING!!!! Crazy no?

The moral here is that it's fiscally responsible to get stabbed in the gut here in Korea ONLY if your assailant is a middle-aged man.

This story, whether it's true or not, is actually pretty telling of the social hierarchy here in Korea. If you were to picture a ladder-like device depicting the order of importance of various ages and demographics, it would resemble something like this. At the top you would have middle-aged men. They are the kings in Korea, they can pretty much get away with anything short of murder. And sometimes murder also. Then you have the elderly man. He's respected, but too weak to actually yell at you or hit you if you disrespect him. Then there are the middle-aged ladies, they TAKE their respect by being pushy and bossy. Then the elderly ladies. Then everyone else. This, of course is within the Korean community. Foreigners aren't at all even on the social ladder (which is dumb and unfortunate, sorry guys).

Poutine!!!

Check it out!! I found poutine in Korea!!!


<sup>Vive le Quebec! What's up, quoi?!?!


Yeeeeeah!!! Representin' $-Treal!!!!!


The goods</sup>

Okay, okay, the cheese was grated and didn't come in curds. You purists can moan all you want. But when you come here to the other side of the world, you can make it the "right" way. I happen to prefer it with shredded cheese anyways.

By the way, this was at a joint called the Rocky Mountain Tavern in Itaewon (Itaewon = foreignertown). The place was soooo Canadian. They played a rerun of a hockey game on the jumbo screen.

Korean "Winter"

How's my peoples in Canada hanging? You cold yet, suckas?

This is a picture I took on Thursday at lunch.



Yeah, so apart from that one day where it snowed (which happened to be the same day I decided to move from Uijeongbu to Seoul), I haven't seen any of the white stuff.

Yesterday was the work party for November birthdays. Here comes more pictures of kids.








^{Those kids with the paper crowns had "Happy Birthday" written on them.}

Sorry, no jokes today.

My Officetel

Here are pictures of my new apartment in Seoul. My initial reaction to it was "Ah great, this is where I will turn into an insect." But after visiting it again and getting rid of some of the decor that the previous guy left, it actually seems kinda homey.

But my biggest consolation comes from the fact that this officetel is still bigger than Erin's first-year McGill dorm room. BURN!!!!!!


<sup>That's the kitchen on the left upon entering the apartment


There's the bedroom/living room/dining room/grotto. Notice the fridge in the window?


That's the bathroom/shower/bath</sup>

First week of work

So I have a job now. It's my second week and I'm learnding sooooo much my head is spinning. But the kids are super-duper cute, and they speak English so very well. Teachers are pretty cool too. Soon, I'll grace you with pictures of my officetel.

Last Thursday and Friday, we took the pre-schoolers and kindergarteners to the fire station. Here are some pictures.









Seriously, the kids are amazing!!!

Here are a couple of bonus pictures for you guys from when Louis was here:

These were taken at the National History Museum.


^{Me and Louis, happily married}

Korea loves the cardboard cutouts! They're very educational!

Living conditions in Korea

Korea, being the mountainous region it is, has got two places where people can live: mountains (obviously, duh!) and valleys. Since the mountains are National property and protected from development, the people can only live in the valley parts (which makes everyone a Valley Girl, even the boys). So you have 12 million people in a very small space. And where do we put them all to live? The answer: In high rise apartment buildings with giant numbers painted on the side like in Japanese cartoons. Check it out.

Gangnam! Louis' Last Day

Whenever a new business opens in Korea, the owner's friends always send good wishes by the use of over the top flower arrangements.


^{Good Luck, Louis!}

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In the military, if you have artistic talent, you can draw something on the side of the walls and in return, you'll get a three-week vacation. So guys who've gone to art school sign up for this and make cute drawings of harmless-looking anthropomorphic animals right next to heavy ordinance.


^{You can't see, but there are artillery guns behind that wall, for serious!}

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We stopped by our uncle's house before meeting up with our cousin's children. Our uncle lives at Namtaeryung metro stop. Namtaeryung has lotsa stairs.



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Then we met up with our cousin's children in Gangnam at a swanky Italian restaurant. It was a really, really good meal. And for desert, bread with honey and ice cream 30 feet away at another place.



That's it!

Day with our cousins

Hey, my brother and I spend some quality time with our cousins. Weird thing is they lived in Montreal for several years and we never spend this much time there...

Anyways, here are the goods:

We started the day with a hot bowl of 설렁탕 (seolleongtang).


^{No dogs in this soup, only awesomeness}

Then we went to 청계천 (Cheonggyecheon) which used to be a stream that ran through Seoul, then was an elevated highway, and is now a stream again.


^{Louis is actually dancing}



At the top where the stream starts they had this strange display of famous buildings covered in clementines.


^{"Give me your sweet, your tangy, your orange masses yearning to taste so good"}

Then we walked over to the Seoul Museum of History, passing by the Admrial Yi watching over the people.


^{If you jaywalk, he will cut you}

At the museum, they had this "science" exhibit. I say "science" cause it was mostly about space and astronomy. And it was really, really nerdy (with formulas and all), like way over our heads, and not interactive enough for my liking. But they had this sweet contraption that Louis immediately recognized as a hydrogen laser (I think). What a nerd!



Then we went to the actual history part of the museum which totally rocked. Except we weren't allowed to take pictures. But screw that we took pictures anyways. Korea's all about breaking rules, and if you get caught, they just politely tell you not to do the thing you're not allowed to do.




^{Royal Seal?!?!...more like Royal Turtle}

After the museum, we headed to Myeong-Dong. There was a Lotte department store decorated in the traditional Christmas colors. Check it out.







Lastly, we ate Shabushabu. Rolls right off the tongue doesn't it? Shabushabu.

Up In The Mountains

My cousin took me and my brother to a Buddhist temple in the mountains today. He had to tell his job that "there was a situation" (those were his exact words) and that he couldn't come in.

But it was a very cool place to be. Very calm and very maple leafy. Why? Cause a long time ago some monks planted a few maple trees and people liked the colors they turned in the fall. So the monks, or maybe it was the Korean Forestry Department, planted a zillion more. Now this part of Korea looks like Canada. Peep for yourselfs.

Oh yeah, while we were there, my brother and I kept referring to everything as "Ancient" and "Buddhist". Jerks!



They had a cable car that ran up to the summit of one of the 75 mountains surrounding the area. At the top, there was an Ancient Buddhist observation deck that enabled you to see the valley below.


<sup>That building next to the pond is where the cable car comes from


Some mountains and stuff


More mountains</sup>

After about 10 minutes, we were done exploring the observation deck so we headed back down the cable car (which was packed way over the allowable weight and number of people, but hey, this is Asia) and headed to the actual temple.

This is where we started to be jerks.






<sup>Ancient Buddhist Fish Pond


Ancient Buddhist Gift Shop


Ancient Buddhist Cell Phone Tower</sup>

There was a part of the temple that was closed off to the public because it was the monks' housing. But we took a picture of it anyways, cause we're tall. Also, it was cool to see the domestic side of the temple.


^{Monks do laundry too!}

k, goodnight.