Korea - Subway - UPDATED!

Hello once again,

So I'm temping for a second third week. The job situation hasn't yet been resolved and it's kinda dragging along. But I have a few offers that I'm considering and will (hopefully) make a choice very soon, like next week. Anyways, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. I wanted to talk more in depth about the Seoul metro system, not that much more though. Once again, I fell out of the habit of taking pictures. Also, I totally fried the battery charger that I bought in Vancouver. I tried plugging it in the wall here and it went "Pop!" and now it doesn't work. It's a shame cause it was the best battery charger I've ever had. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that all my batteries are dead, for now.

Let's see...what can I say about the Seoul metro...well, I've been taking it a lot lately. I commute for around 2 hours a day (which sucks, but I've been doing long commutes since high school - I don't even dare to calculate the time I've wasted on public transportation) going to and from work. My route starts off with a bus ride on the shakiest, most hurky-jurky bus ever. You see, all the buses have manual transmission. Every time the bus starts to go again after a stop, it jerks at each change in gear. If you're not holding on to a rail, you will go flying and fall on your face, even if you're a ninja. Then I take the subway for an hour or so to get to work.

Subways are weird and wonderful. You will routinely see enterprising young fellows out to sell their goods ranging from cheap nylon socks to cheap screwdrivers. On rainy days they sell cheap umbrellas. Sometimes they sell old Korean mix-tapes and when they do, their sales pitch involves blasting the CD at full volume in the car (thank God for noise canceling earphones).


^{Man working the crowd. He's DJ Press Play. The dude behind him was trying to telepathically open the doors}

These guys (and gals) go up and down the train and hawk their goods. Sometimes, they'll do pretty well for themselves. I've seen them make a few sales per car. One thing I've noticed about these people is that their sales pitch ALWAYS start with the word "차!!!" (Jah!!!!) but they drag out the "a" part. At least that's the case with the men. The ladies are more polite, they bow introduce themselves first and then make their pitch.

I forgot to mention a few other things about the subway here. The seats at the end of each car are reserved for the elderly, disabled, and pregnant. It's customary to give up your seat to elderly people, but it in the case of the end seats it's expected. If you don't you will get stared at, and possibly head-slapped. Also, when people are done reading their newspapers, they leave them on the overhead rack near the doors for others. It's a pretty cool system. In fact, Korea in general is pretty conscious of waste and the environment.

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Random notes before I forget.

• Newscasters bow at the end of their broadcast.


• You can spit pretty much anywhere.


• 30 Rock is a brilliant show


• One of the metro stations (I forget which one) has a grandfather clock in it. It adds a touch of class and elegance to the otherwise sterile environment. At the same time, it's just so strange to place an antique looking piece there.


• Parking is a free for all (I might have mentioned that already).


• You can watch TV anywhere in Seoul. More on this in another post.

What's up dog?

This is Ching-Koo (칭구), he is the family dog. I don't know what breed he is. If I had to guess, I'd say white. I call him Chink for short (don't worry, no one knows that's a derogatory term here). He dresses better than I do and likes to sneak into my room steal a dirty sock, take it elsewhere in the apartment, and lie down next to it. Whenever I come home, he barks incessantly and will not stop until either my aunt or uncle shuts him up. I just recently found out that I can get him to stop barking if I throw him one of my dirty socks. He's also pretty cute so he gets away with a lot of the stuff that he does. One day he'll make a great meal (JUST KIDDING!!!! - People do eat dog in Korea, just not their pets)

No Comment

My uncle just walked into my my room visibly drunk, hugged me, and told me he loved me, twice.

Korea - Physical Contact

As demonstrated in my holding hands story, the rules of contact between two people are a little different here. Girls routinely hold hands (they even interlock fingers) with other girls and it doesn't mean they're gay with each other. Every night you'll see drunk, middle-aged men arm in arm walking home after their nightly drinking sesh.

Even slapping the butt is acceptable in non-sports-celebratory situations. Yesterday, I witnessed some guy sitting on the floor of the metro. As he got up, he used his friends pant crotch area as an anchor point to lift himself (What, no handrails?).

There's a game the boys like to play. It's called 똥침 (Ttong-Tcheem). From wikipedia: "It is [an act] performed by clasping the hands together so the index fingers are pointing out and attempting to insert them sharply into someone's anal region when the victim is not looking." It goes without saying that the victim is clothed, so no actual -uh- insertion takes place. Nevertheless, it's really gross. But the kids seem to derive a lot of pleasure from sticking their fingers in each other's butts. Most of them grow out of it by their mid-twenties though.

Okay, so we've established that it's okay to pretty much touch someone (of the same gender) anywhere, even the inside of their butts. But what about opposite sex physical contact? Well, it's simple, if you're touching someone who pees in a different position than you, you're dating that person.

Last thing, you don't EVER want to touch a dude's head, especially if he's older. If you do, get ready to get your head slapped and yelled at forever. It is VERY disrespectful to touch an older person on the head. I don't know exactly why. The only reason I found was because the head it the highest, therefore most sacred, part of the body. But I'm not 100% on that.

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Here's another (somewhat) crazy Korean superstition. Do not let your hair get wet when it rains. You will eventually go bald if you you do. You see, the rain here is apparently very acidic, or at least very polluted. Anyways, Koreans believe that prolonged exposure to water falling from the sky leads to hair loss. So when it rains, every single Korean person (guys and girls) scurries to hide under an umbrella. If an umbrella isn't available, anything else will do (newspaper, books, dogs, your boyfriend).

Music soothes the savage beast.

Okay, sorry to veer off the Korea topic a bit, but I can't not talk about this. There has been a recent string of online videos of people performing off key music to hilarious results. I thought I'd share. And by string I meant two.



And this doesn't just happen to amateurs in beauty pageants from years ago, it happens to Van Halen too.



The funny part about the VH video is the backing music is in a non-musical key, so no matter how hard Eddie tries to transpose, it's not going to work.

The moral of the story here is public off-key performances are funny.

Now what am I supposed to do? Watch TV?

Well it looks like the party's over at TV-Links. As someone who spends 600% of his time on the Internet, I am deeply saddened by this news (well not really, but kinda). Also, I was sorta counting on TV-Links to provide me with the American TV that I oh so need but can't get here. Next time you're out partying and merrying it up with your friends, remember to pour some out for this amazing site that has gone on to the big Internet in the sky. TV-Links, you will be missed. Until some other site takes your place. Which will probably take about a couple of weeks.

Fan Death?

Ah yes, death by fan. Most Koreans believe that it is possible to die if you sleep in a closed room with the fan running. There is no scientific logic to this. But what's logical in Korea?

Here's a graphical representation of what most Koreans believe happens to fans when the sun goes down.



Yes this post was just an excuse to run that picture.

Almost a month into it....

...and what do I have to show for all this trouble of moving across the world?

Tomorrow I begin in earnest my search for a job. Get ready Korea for I am about to carpet-bomb-flood you with my picture and CV.

Actually I thought about using a picture from the Internet but either I have lotsa facial hair or I have a drink in my hand, usually both. Sometimes, I'm even carrying, or being carried by, someone. These things are not the best way to convey professionalism.


Hey, I don't think I've ever said this but everyday here I see/hear/smell something new and interesting. For example, on Sunday my ears witnessed an accident between a motorcycle and a taxi. The bike tried to pass on the right just as the taxi was changing lanes. Fortunately, the biker was not hurt. He got right back up and started trading info with the taxi driver. Thankfully, he was wearing a helmet.

My folks have gone back to Canada. And I sub again tomorrow...

Update on the job front/My first class

So I turned down the Daejeon offer and I am back to waiting for something in Seoul. I gotta send out more CVs.

In other news, I got some temporary sub work yesterday and taught my first few classes. Let's see, the first one was three kindergarten kids who said I looked Japanese, and would laugh whenever I spoke Korean (they didn't speak/understand much English so I had to resort to Korean to splain things). My Second class was with three adorable 8-year-old girls who would also laugh at my Korean. But they were cooler and easier to get along with than the younger kids. We read a couple of texts together about fainting goats and otters so I showed them a couple of Youtube videos. They seemed to enjoy that. The student for my third class didn't show up. And for my last class, I had a really talkative and brilliant kid named Nick.

The 40-minute classes go by extremely quickly.

Here are some pictures:

Mr. Pizza has love for women? Ummm...That's nice to know.


This thing tastes like peanut-butter flavored YOP! It ain't that bad. Here's the Wikipedia entry for Metchnikoff. Just read the last paragraph for the relationship between this Russian man and this not-Russian drink. The Internet solves yet another mystery!


Cruelest thing ever in Korea. 7-11s without Slurpees.

P.S. I want to wish my dad (who doesn't read this blog) a happy 69th birthday.

Showering in Korea

Quick survey here, who likes smelling bad?

Yeah, me neither.

When taking a shower here you need to wrap your brain around a few things. First of all, the ENTIRE bathroom is the shower stall. Most modern bathrooms have a bathtub, but some of the older homes don't. They expect you to shower right there, in between the sink and toilet bowl which is more than a little unsettling at first. However, this also means you can spray the water pretty much ANYWHERE which makes cleanup a snap! Except you have to watch out not to hit the toilet paper, and, more importantly, THE POWER OUTLET!!!! That's right, every time you take a shower here in Korea you run the risk of electrocuting yourself. Okay, that may not be true in all households but it certainly was the case Chez my Uncle. His house in Seoul has a power outlet right under the shower head. So far, I'm still alive but I've been showering VERY carefully.


^{Korea is still down with Capital Punishment}

Second thing is that once you survive the electric shower of potential death, all you get is ONE MEASLY HAND TOWEL to dry off with. Seriously, the thing's the size of legal paper. How is a person, who is taller than 2'1", supposed to dry off with a terry cloth post it note? By the time I dry my hair, the things completely soaked with water that there's really no point in trying to dry off the rest of my body. Anyways, I been taking two towels to the shower with me to get the job done (barely).


^{The hand towel gets the thumbs down}

However, Korea is still awesome.

Crossroads

Today, I had my second meeting with the school that wants to hire me. Basically, they want me to work in Daejeon which is a city in the middle of Korea, about an hour away from Seoul.

I have to admit being surprised at the offer since it never occurred to me that I might not work in Seoul. The job itself has a lot of opportunities, the campus where I would work runs all of the school's programs. I can learn a lot about the curriculum and possibilities for advancement look promising there. I just have to decide if I want to make a career with this school. On the other hand, there's comfort in Seoul. I've got more family here. I've got friends here. I've started to establish roots and it would be shame to leave so quickly. At the same time, these are all things I can have in Daejeon too. Arrrgh. I don't know.

Thinking about my future is not easy nor is it particularly fun...

Welcome to the real world!

Decision Music!

Dongdaemun

Heyo,

I know. I'm on fire.

Anyways, here's a picture of the old sewage canal in Dongdaemun.


^{That ain't people, it's poop}

It's pretty isn't it? Yeah, well it wasn't always like that. This entire area used to stink like it would if you took thousands of people excrements and pooled it all together. How do I know? It's what my dad told me. Every time he talked about the odour, his face grimaced like he could still smell it. He used to have a shop along this street on the left side of the picture, directly under the sun. Because of the smell, his shop didn't do too well. So he sold it off and moved on to Vietnam. So why is it so pretty now? A few years back, the mayor of Seoul realized that having a market that smelled like tons of pipi and caca was bad for the business around it. He tabled a plan to rebuild the canal that basically would get rid of the sewage. Do you think the shopkeepers where ecstatic at the plan? No, they actually opposed it!!! They would rather wallow in human waste than, you know, change for the better. Anyways, the mayor had to convince the shopkeepers to go along with this, and he kept them informed about progress with regular updates throughout the entire project. Seriously, people!

Anything > Constantly exposed to smell of poop.

P.S. Most of the information here comes from my mother and father. They aren't the most reliable with details so I pass it on with a grain of salt. Still, it's an awesome story.

Bonus Round

Here are a couple of bonus stories for you all.

Korea is known for it's diverse smells. Sometimes they're pleasant, like food, but most of the time they're gag-inducing. I'll leave the examples out. The first smell I noticed was after my cousin picked me up at the airport. On the highway back to the city, I noticed a factory a ways off from the side of the road, but the whole area smelled like a perm. I concluded that that was where the raw materials for old Korean lady perms (pama) come from.



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On my third night in Seoul, I was done for the evening and was asleep. When I was awakened by a sound in my room. It was cousin's husband. When I opened my eyes his face filled my entire field of vision. He immediately spoke some really fast Korean. All I caught was something about exercise. Next thing I know, I'm outside the apartment on my way for a walk with this guy. We walked in total for about 40 minutes. The whole time he held my hand, which really freaked me out. I told him a few times that it wasn't necessary, that I could see him and follow him no problem, but he kept reaching and grabbing my hand, especially when we were about to cross streets. Apparently it's no big deal here, but it was the most shocking of all the culture shocks I encountered so far. Since then, I noticed a few other guys holding hands. Every time, it was a mentally handicapped person being escorted by a volunteer or a child with a parent. This leads me to believe that my cousin's husband either thought I was a toddler, or mentally handicapped. Clearly, I'm not a child.

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There are two types of crosswalks in Seoul: ones with traffic lights and ones without. The ones with traffic lights are no problem to cross. Wait for the green light, watch out for motorbikes, cross, while keeping a constant watch for motorbikes. The ones without lights are a bit trickier. Basically, you kinda have to disregard your will to live for a half second and throw yourself out into the street. Once you take that brave first step, just keep walking, that space is yours. But watch out for motorbikes.

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I also got my work Visa on Friday. It's for Gyopos (people who have at least one Korean parent, but aren't Korean citizens). It is a thing of beauty. I don't have to go to the army but I can't own a business or property. Still it's pretty good compared to what White people get. With an E2 visa, you're bound to your employer until your contract expires, even if your boss is a huge tool. F4 Visa holders can change jobs mid-contract. Anyways, I go in for my official job interview on Monday (maybe Tuesday, no confirmation yet).

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Hey, if you don't want to do the mandatory military service here, just get a huge tattoo. Apparently, the Korean government doesn't like for it's soldiers to get too much ink done. So if you don't want to do your military service, get one of these:



Actually, I think a sleeve, or a shoulder will do, but it HAS to be a Unicorn.

Korea - Fashions

Hello again for yet another installment of the "Korea is different than North America" Series.

Today, we'll deal with the topic of fashion. Now I'm no expert but I know what I like and what I don't. Most of what I see here in Korea falls in the latter category. I'll just throw up a couple of pictures and discuss, cause words cannot describe what's going on.

Fig. 1

^{It's fashionable to dress up like a turnstile}

I see three or four of these every time I step out, ranging from subtle sheen to light amplifying shine. Either these guys stopped paying attention to the passage of time after they saw Puff Daddy and Ma$e on TV, or they're too frugal to update their wardrobe, or worse yet, they think this outfit is still fashionable. I don't know, maybe it is. Maybe these guys are on some plane of fashion that I can't even begin to comprehend: The Simulated Brushed Metal plane.

Fig. 2

^{20 Million Won-hairs to the person who guesses correctly which one of these two spends more time in front of a mirror}

I don't even know where to begin with this one. Lame shoes? Super high upturned pantlegs? No socks? Index finger ring? The purse??? Is this a case of many wrongs making a right? No it isn't. This get up is typical of Korean males. Actually, this guy is a pretty tame example of boys dressing up like girls/clowns. I went bowling last weekend and there was a guy wearing 3/4 sleeved black shirt with white polka dots. Gross. Someone needs find out where the discarded clown outfit store is and shut that place down.



Also, Chuck Taylors are everywhere. Seriously, everyone under the age of 27 is rocking a pair of Chucks, preferably white. Either that or Sandals. Never have I seen such a high concentration of Sandals and socks as in Seoul. Basically, if you're a high-school kid and you're coming home you're either wearing Converse or Sandals (with socks).



If you're an older lady partaking in any sort of activity under the sun, you cannot go without a visor cap, with the emphasis on visor. Remember a couple of years ago when fratboys used to rock visors?



Well I guess Korean ladies picked up on this and took it to the next logical step and blew up that palette to block out the sun and the rest of the solar system.



And the logical step after that.

^{The Prada of the Visor Caps}

This one's good if you're going to sell produce on the street, pick some herbs off the sides of roads, or if you're in the mood to do some spot welding or space travel.

Korea - Transportation

Getting around Seoul and the surrounding cities is a snap once you've mastered the Seoul Metropolitan Rapid Transit System.



^{An MMBA-like project on this could take years, if not decades}

It's actually really easy to use the metro here. I'd say it's one of the best in the world too. It's really clean, there's a whole bunch of etiquette rules to follow while using it. Everything is written in Korean and English and it's cheap. Depending on where you're going, the fares range from 1,000 won (a little over a buck) to 1,600 won (just under two). Etiquette rules can be found here.

But the Subway ain't the only way to get around. Here's a breakdown of the other forms of transportation:

A Car:

The car is a good choice for getting from A to B. It's powerful, motorized, has air conditioning. However, everyone else in Korea seems to feel this way. The biggest problem you'll face when riding the car is traffic. Also, the driving here requires a strength of character that only veterans of war possess. I've been trying to figure out the rules of conduct while I've been here to no avail. I think the most apt comparison is Aussie rules football but on the street, with big mechanical players, and no referees. If you think Montreal West Island drivers are nuts, then you need to experience driving in Korea. I don't suggest you actually participate, but just ride shotgun and you'll get a pretty good thrill.

The Truck

The truck is pretty much like the car. The same driving rules apply, whatever they are. The difference with the truck is you can put stuff on it and sell the crap out of it. There are so many "stores" like this, where there's just a bunch of stuff (mostly produce) on the bed that the driver tries to sell. Some enterprising fellows mount a PA system and play a recording to "advertise" their wares. One recording I heard went something like this:

Onions, onions, onions. We have onions here. Onions for a low price. Onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions.

I still can't figure out what it was he was selling.

Scooters

Okay, scooters are the vehicle of choice for the delivery person. In Korea, there are virtually no restrictions on where a scooter can go. Basically, it boils down to no highways and no indoors, everywhere else is fair game. This includes in between cars, sidewalks, sewers, crosswalks while people are crossing, up and down stairs (if they're outside), and sometime in the foreseeable future up and down the sides of buildings. Seriously, the scooters mobility makes it too powerful it unbalances the game a bit. And also, these scooter drivers are crazy. Crazier than even car drivers. I once saw a man riding with his young son standing in the space between the handlebars and the seat. The man had a helmet on but his kid didn't. It boggles the mind!

Tomorrow, I go pick up my work visa. Yeah, I'll be taking the subway.

Korea - part 2 of a billion

What should the second installment be about? Will it be about how insane traffic and driving is here? How about how the national trend of of boys dressing up and looking more and more like girls? Maybe I'll talk about the Engrish things I've seen, or I'll introduce you (selfish white people) to Conglish. I don't have too much photographic evidence of any of that so I'll talk about drinking. Basically, I've been hanging out with my retirement-age uncle (who I'm staying with) and his friends. How it works is you go to a butcher and pick up some Three-kinds-of-fat or some other type of meat and then you head over to a Sool-jib (Drinking establishment). Then you eat, drink Soju (Korean Rice Wine) and be merry for a few hours and go home. And the butcher drinks with you.

There a also a whole bunch of etiquette rules to learn, but I won't bore you with those. Instead here's a bunch of pictures of old Korean men.

Did I mention that Old Korean Men are awesomely hilarious! No? Well, while I was there they were just ragging on each others English Skillz. Too Funny.


<sup>The Meat!


That's the Butcher on the right getting served.


More Old Korean Men. These are the guys who cheer the loudest when Korea wins in an international event.</sup>

Also, my cousin did a stint as a riot cop a few years back. He still has has gear.




^{Eat Wood Hippie!}

Korea!

Finally! I have arrived. The first thing that comes to mind when I got here was the word "busy". Korea is a busy place but it's beautiful, smelly at times, and all around awesome. I can't wait to explore this country more fully. Here's what I've got so far. I'm going to have to break this entry down into chapters.

A confession: I haven't been good at lugging my camera around for the first few days here so I haven't been taking many pictures. But that will no longer be the case. Promise.

Sights

As I said, Korea is beautiful. Peep for yourself.


<sup>Seoul National University


A neighbourhood on the mountain in Seoul


Up the street from my uncle's house. He lives in one of the older neighbourhoods of Seoul. They don't build them like this anymore. Now all they build are high rise apartment complexes with giant numbers on the sides.</sup>

Food

I haven't had much to eat out yet, but here's a couple of pictures anyways taken in the last couple of days.


<sup>Chajangmyun. Those noodles are hand-made.




Samgae Tang. Chicken stuffed with ginseng and rice.</sup>

Hilariousness

Okay, this is the most amazing part of Korea: all the cool funny things. Here's just a few things I've seen so far.

First off, there are no laws regarding signage on commercial buildings and this is the result:


^{Just try to imagine a whole street to buildings like this}

I read Korean at the level of maybe a four-year-old. So there's no way I could read all of this as I'm driving by. I doubt even a Korean native would be able to distinguish one sign from the next, especially in a whole neighbourhood of buildings like this. Eventually, it all blends together into visual white noise so the attention grabbing effect each business is trying to achieve is pretty much wasted.

The first time I went to the bathroom (to pull a Davies) I was confronted with this:


^{In case you were wondering, the seat is heated}

Here's a closer look at the controls.

^{The button on the far right is the history eraser}

I haven't tried the bidet and I don't think I will.

The awesomeness of Korea will further be explored in future posts. I'm tired and I want to rest. That's it for now.

...

Here's a bunch of miscellaneous photos of LA

Alright, it's been kind of a hassle getting the Internets here in Korea but all is well. I'm at my aunt's coffee shop. Anyways, here are the rest of the LA pics so I can move on to telling you about Korea. And boy is there lots to write about...







Here's a baby seat that forces your kid to watch you as you do your business (poopoo).



Rest of the photos are here.