Dongdaemun

Heyo,

I know. I'm on fire.

Anyways, here's a picture of the old sewage canal in Dongdaemun.


^{That ain't people, it's poop}

It's pretty isn't it? Yeah, well it wasn't always like that. This entire area used to stink like it would if you took thousands of people excrements and pooled it all together. How do I know? It's what my dad told me. Every time he talked about the odour, his face grimaced like he could still smell it. He used to have a shop along this street on the left side of the picture, directly under the sun. Because of the smell, his shop didn't do too well. So he sold it off and moved on to Vietnam. So why is it so pretty now? A few years back, the mayor of Seoul realized that having a market that smelled like tons of pipi and caca was bad for the business around it. He tabled a plan to rebuild the canal that basically would get rid of the sewage. Do you think the shopkeepers where ecstatic at the plan? No, they actually opposed it!!! They would rather wallow in human waste than, you know, change for the better. Anyways, the mayor had to convince the shopkeepers to go along with this, and he kept them informed about progress with regular updates throughout the entire project. Seriously, people!

Anything > Constantly exposed to smell of poop.

P.S. Most of the information here comes from my mother and father. They aren't the most reliable with details so I pass it on with a grain of salt. Still, it's an awesome story.

Bonus Round

Here are a couple of bonus stories for you all.

Korea is known for it's diverse smells. Sometimes they're pleasant, like food, but most of the time they're gag-inducing. I'll leave the examples out. The first smell I noticed was after my cousin picked me up at the airport. On the highway back to the city, I noticed a factory a ways off from the side of the road, but the whole area smelled like a perm. I concluded that that was where the raw materials for old Korean lady perms (pama) come from.



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On my third night in Seoul, I was done for the evening and was asleep. When I was awakened by a sound in my room. It was cousin's husband. When I opened my eyes his face filled my entire field of vision. He immediately spoke some really fast Korean. All I caught was something about exercise. Next thing I know, I'm outside the apartment on my way for a walk with this guy. We walked in total for about 40 minutes. The whole time he held my hand, which really freaked me out. I told him a few times that it wasn't necessary, that I could see him and follow him no problem, but he kept reaching and grabbing my hand, especially when we were about to cross streets. Apparently it's no big deal here, but it was the most shocking of all the culture shocks I encountered so far. Since then, I noticed a few other guys holding hands. Every time, it was a mentally handicapped person being escorted by a volunteer or a child with a parent. This leads me to believe that my cousin's husband either thought I was a toddler, or mentally handicapped. Clearly, I'm not a child.

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There are two types of crosswalks in Seoul: ones with traffic lights and ones without. The ones with traffic lights are no problem to cross. Wait for the green light, watch out for motorbikes, cross, while keeping a constant watch for motorbikes. The ones without lights are a bit trickier. Basically, you kinda have to disregard your will to live for a half second and throw yourself out into the street. Once you take that brave first step, just keep walking, that space is yours. But watch out for motorbikes.

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I also got my work Visa on Friday. It's for Gyopos (people who have at least one Korean parent, but aren't Korean citizens). It is a thing of beauty. I don't have to go to the army but I can't own a business or property. Still it's pretty good compared to what White people get. With an E2 visa, you're bound to your employer until your contract expires, even if your boss is a huge tool. F4 Visa holders can change jobs mid-contract. Anyways, I go in for my official job interview on Monday (maybe Tuesday, no confirmation yet).

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Hey, if you don't want to do the mandatory military service here, just get a huge tattoo. Apparently, the Korean government doesn't like for it's soldiers to get too much ink done. So if you don't want to do your military service, get one of these:



Actually, I think a sleeve, or a shoulder will do, but it HAS to be a Unicorn.

Korea - Fashions

Hello again for yet another installment of the "Korea is different than North America" Series.

Today, we'll deal with the topic of fashion. Now I'm no expert but I know what I like and what I don't. Most of what I see here in Korea falls in the latter category. I'll just throw up a couple of pictures and discuss, cause words cannot describe what's going on.

Fig. 1

^{It's fashionable to dress up like a turnstile}

I see three or four of these every time I step out, ranging from subtle sheen to light amplifying shine. Either these guys stopped paying attention to the passage of time after they saw Puff Daddy and Ma$e on TV, or they're too frugal to update their wardrobe, or worse yet, they think this outfit is still fashionable. I don't know, maybe it is. Maybe these guys are on some plane of fashion that I can't even begin to comprehend: The Simulated Brushed Metal plane.

Fig. 2

^{20 Million Won-hairs to the person who guesses correctly which one of these two spends more time in front of a mirror}

I don't even know where to begin with this one. Lame shoes? Super high upturned pantlegs? No socks? Index finger ring? The purse??? Is this a case of many wrongs making a right? No it isn't. This get up is typical of Korean males. Actually, this guy is a pretty tame example of boys dressing up like girls/clowns. I went bowling last weekend and there was a guy wearing 3/4 sleeved black shirt with white polka dots. Gross. Someone needs find out where the discarded clown outfit store is and shut that place down.



Also, Chuck Taylors are everywhere. Seriously, everyone under the age of 27 is rocking a pair of Chucks, preferably white. Either that or Sandals. Never have I seen such a high concentration of Sandals and socks as in Seoul. Basically, if you're a high-school kid and you're coming home you're either wearing Converse or Sandals (with socks).



If you're an older lady partaking in any sort of activity under the sun, you cannot go without a visor cap, with the emphasis on visor. Remember a couple of years ago when fratboys used to rock visors?



Well I guess Korean ladies picked up on this and took it to the next logical step and blew up that palette to block out the sun and the rest of the solar system.



And the logical step after that.

^{The Prada of the Visor Caps}

This one's good if you're going to sell produce on the street, pick some herbs off the sides of roads, or if you're in the mood to do some spot welding or space travel.

Korea - Transportation

Getting around Seoul and the surrounding cities is a snap once you've mastered the Seoul Metropolitan Rapid Transit System.



^{An MMBA-like project on this could take years, if not decades}

It's actually really easy to use the metro here. I'd say it's one of the best in the world too. It's really clean, there's a whole bunch of etiquette rules to follow while using it. Everything is written in Korean and English and it's cheap. Depending on where you're going, the fares range from 1,000 won (a little over a buck) to 1,600 won (just under two). Etiquette rules can be found here.

But the Subway ain't the only way to get around. Here's a breakdown of the other forms of transportation:

A Car:

The car is a good choice for getting from A to B. It's powerful, motorized, has air conditioning. However, everyone else in Korea seems to feel this way. The biggest problem you'll face when riding the car is traffic. Also, the driving here requires a strength of character that only veterans of war possess. I've been trying to figure out the rules of conduct while I've been here to no avail. I think the most apt comparison is Aussie rules football but on the street, with big mechanical players, and no referees. If you think Montreal West Island drivers are nuts, then you need to experience driving in Korea. I don't suggest you actually participate, but just ride shotgun and you'll get a pretty good thrill.

The Truck

The truck is pretty much like the car. The same driving rules apply, whatever they are. The difference with the truck is you can put stuff on it and sell the crap out of it. There are so many "stores" like this, where there's just a bunch of stuff (mostly produce) on the bed that the driver tries to sell. Some enterprising fellows mount a PA system and play a recording to "advertise" their wares. One recording I heard went something like this:

Onions, onions, onions. We have onions here. Onions for a low price. Onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions, onions.

I still can't figure out what it was he was selling.

Scooters

Okay, scooters are the vehicle of choice for the delivery person. In Korea, there are virtually no restrictions on where a scooter can go. Basically, it boils down to no highways and no indoors, everywhere else is fair game. This includes in between cars, sidewalks, sewers, crosswalks while people are crossing, up and down stairs (if they're outside), and sometime in the foreseeable future up and down the sides of buildings. Seriously, the scooters mobility makes it too powerful it unbalances the game a bit. And also, these scooter drivers are crazy. Crazier than even car drivers. I once saw a man riding with his young son standing in the space between the handlebars and the seat. The man had a helmet on but his kid didn't. It boggles the mind!

Tomorrow, I go pick up my work visa. Yeah, I'll be taking the subway.

Korea - part 2 of a billion

What should the second installment be about? Will it be about how insane traffic and driving is here? How about how the national trend of of boys dressing up and looking more and more like girls? Maybe I'll talk about the Engrish things I've seen, or I'll introduce you (selfish white people) to Conglish. I don't have too much photographic evidence of any of that so I'll talk about drinking. Basically, I've been hanging out with my retirement-age uncle (who I'm staying with) and his friends. How it works is you go to a butcher and pick up some Three-kinds-of-fat or some other type of meat and then you head over to a Sool-jib (Drinking establishment). Then you eat, drink Soju (Korean Rice Wine) and be merry for a few hours and go home. And the butcher drinks with you.

There a also a whole bunch of etiquette rules to learn, but I won't bore you with those. Instead here's a bunch of pictures of old Korean men.

Did I mention that Old Korean Men are awesomely hilarious! No? Well, while I was there they were just ragging on each others English Skillz. Too Funny.


<sup>The Meat!


That's the Butcher on the right getting served.


More Old Korean Men. These are the guys who cheer the loudest when Korea wins in an international event.</sup>

Also, my cousin did a stint as a riot cop a few years back. He still has has gear.




^{Eat Wood Hippie!}

Korea!

Finally! I have arrived. The first thing that comes to mind when I got here was the word "busy". Korea is a busy place but it's beautiful, smelly at times, and all around awesome. I can't wait to explore this country more fully. Here's what I've got so far. I'm going to have to break this entry down into chapters.

A confession: I haven't been good at lugging my camera around for the first few days here so I haven't been taking many pictures. But that will no longer be the case. Promise.

Sights

As I said, Korea is beautiful. Peep for yourself.


<sup>Seoul National University


A neighbourhood on the mountain in Seoul


Up the street from my uncle's house. He lives in one of the older neighbourhoods of Seoul. They don't build them like this anymore. Now all they build are high rise apartment complexes with giant numbers on the sides.</sup>

Food

I haven't had much to eat out yet, but here's a couple of pictures anyways taken in the last couple of days.


<sup>Chajangmyun. Those noodles are hand-made.




Samgae Tang. Chicken stuffed with ginseng and rice.</sup>

Hilariousness

Okay, this is the most amazing part of Korea: all the cool funny things. Here's just a few things I've seen so far.

First off, there are no laws regarding signage on commercial buildings and this is the result:


^{Just try to imagine a whole street to buildings like this}

I read Korean at the level of maybe a four-year-old. So there's no way I could read all of this as I'm driving by. I doubt even a Korean native would be able to distinguish one sign from the next, especially in a whole neighbourhood of buildings like this. Eventually, it all blends together into visual white noise so the attention grabbing effect each business is trying to achieve is pretty much wasted.

The first time I went to the bathroom (to pull a Davies) I was confronted with this:


^{In case you were wondering, the seat is heated}

Here's a closer look at the controls.

^{The button on the far right is the history eraser}

I haven't tried the bidet and I don't think I will.

The awesomeness of Korea will further be explored in future posts. I'm tired and I want to rest. That's it for now.

...

Here's a bunch of miscellaneous photos of LA

Alright, it's been kind of a hassle getting the Internets here in Korea but all is well. I'm at my aunt's coffee shop. Anyways, here are the rest of the LA pics so I can move on to telling you about Korea. And boy is there lots to write about...







Here's a baby seat that forces your kid to watch you as you do your business (poopoo).



Rest of the photos are here.